Everything You Need to Know About Couples Therapy
A couple reconnects after couples therapy in Brooklyn.
While many couples can resolve conflicts on their own, couples therapy is more than finding a resolution for each concern. This type of counseling is a way to deepen intimate bonds and solidify relationships.
In this blog, we explore the ins and outs of couples therapy. We delve into what you should expect from your therapy sessions, how to prepare for this new journey and how to identify the right couples therapist for your relationship and goals.
Does every couple need therapy?
Many believe that couples therapy is merely for times of crisis. You will find, however, that couples therapy is also helpful in addressing frequent minor conflicts or underlying issues.
Couples and marriage counselors in Brooklyn suggest these as the most common yet overlooked signs that a couple could benefit from counseling:
You no longer see any positives. If you find yourself only having intrusive thoughts about your partner and having difficulty recalling fond memories of your relationship — that may be your cue to go to therapy. Dealing with constant negative thoughts affects your quality of life and subsequently, those around you.
You have recurring conflicts, no matter how minor. While conflicts are natural in relationships, they are different if you're repeatedly fighting over the same thing. As the old saying goes, "Constant dripping of water wears away a stone." Persistent, minor conflicts will often present crossroads, so do not wait until you or your partner make the wrong turn or until things worsen to make a significant change.
You lack communication. Another sign that your relationship may benefit from couples therapy is if you find that your partner is talking less and less. In situations like this, you deal with challenging thoughts about your relationship alone and no longer have the benefit of being reassured by your partner.
If you believe you need therapy, Park Slope Therapy offers couples counseling Brooklyn couples will find worthwhile.
When do you go to couples therapy?
An American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy 2021 study shows that couples typically wait over two and a half years from the onset of problems before going into therapy. Leaving issues unresolved that long, however, will likely produce unfavorable consequences.
Among other reasons, you should consider therapy if you need help with:
Pre-marital counseling
Infidelity
Divorce mediation
Co-parenting
Blended families
Aggression
Sexual difficulties
If you’re dealing with any of these, Park Slope therapists have over 30 years of experience in marriage counseling Brooklyn couples can benefit from.
How do you prepare for couples therapy?
There are several reasons why couples will find it difficult. Here are some helpful tips to prepare you for therapy:
Focus on yourself. While you are there to work on issues interpersonally, that does not mean you go into therapy with a detailed list of all the things you hate about your partner. Instead, it would help if you looked at yourself and your own behavior.
Be honest. More than revealing secrets, this means expressing your feelings, thoughts and desires. With honest introspection, you can also realize your areas of improvement and develop the willingness to listen and change.
Be open-minded. It can be challenging to listen to your partner talk openly about your private problems as a couple for the first time, so it's helpful to remember that hearing something you don't appreciate is not the end but instead part of the process.
Do your homework. Therapists often assign couples homework to do on their own. Some homework you might be assigned are:
Practice asking questions to one another.
Read informative material about relationships.
Write down a few things you heard from your partner after the therapy session.
Create a gratitude list, particularly of positive things your partner did that you can share to affirm them during the next session.
Bonus. When communicating, try to avoid the "You-statements" so instead of saying, "You never hear me out," say, "I feel like I am not heard." Doing this can help avoid your partner feeling attacked.
During therapy, being emotional is expected, but how you express yourself will make all the difference — it can either help or harm the process. Some of the things you need to avoid doing are:
Shouting
Cursing
Being completely silent
Threatening
Leaving mid-session
Remember that even with much preparation, therapy is hard work, but it’s worth it.
Get the most out of couples therapy with Park Slope Therapy
Making progress may take time, and desirable results may not come immediately. But our therapists are committed to helping you re-engage with your partner to work through your relationship challenges one therapy session at a time.
Other than couples counseling in Brooklyn, Park Slope also offers therapy for adults and kids. If you have further questions, we'd be glad to talk with you here.
